I really need to start lying to my students.
Or, at the very least, don’t confirm that their ideas will work.
See, here’s the thing. I teach Chemistry to high schoolers, specifically sophomores. I love them to death. They are a great crew of kids.
But boy, sometimes I wonder if I’ve gone and created some manner of Godzilla-caliber monster.
Case in point…we are on the chapter that covers the Periodic Table of the Elements, in particular, how it’s structured, what elements go where, what reacts with what, you know, that sort of thing. I brought up that everything in group 1 (or column 1, for the non-chemistry types out there) is EXTREMELY reactive with water.
By that, I mean if you introduce any of those metals to our beloved H2O, get ready for a kaboom that will scare the snot out of anything and anyone in a hundred-yard radius.
In fact, that’s the reason elements from that particular group are not found by themselves in nature…they combine readily with just about any non-metal. Definitely not substances you want to play around with, especially if you prefer not cleaning stains out of your pants. That, and considering that your own body is upwards of 60% water, even touching the stuff with your bare skin isn’t a great idea.
As my students are completing their classwork, one of them calls me over with a question. I assumed that it was about the worksheet and it marking something wrong that shouldn’t be (the software I use is sort of like Google Forms…if anything is even a space or capital letter off, it marks it wrong). Usually I just look at their answer and tell them if it’s correct or not, and then add it in later.
Not this time, peeps. My little darling asked if the following scenario would be viable. I am quoting from memory as best I can on this.
“So, what if we made a bath bomb, like the Alka-Seltzer thing. Only inside, we put a chunk of sodium! Then, as the bath bomb sinks and dissolves, the sodium hits the water, and you get a REAL bath bomb! Right? Is that right?”
After taking a second or two to process exactly WHY this kid would even cook up such a scenario in his noggin, I answered thusly:
“Your scientific reasoning is correct, though terrifying, and would be an awesome way to catch a manslaughter charge. Please, for the love of God, don’t.”
I should probably state now that I will never lie to my students, though man alive, sometimes I wish I could make myself break that little rule. I would rather arm them with accurate knowledge than falsehoods. All the better to prepare them for life, right?
I do feel the need to point out one small pattern I’ve observed in my thirteen years in the trenches…err…classroom. It’s almost never the girls that come up with tomfoolery such as this. Okay, there was that one, but that was the anomaly.
What is it about the Y chromosome???
Two weeks until Winter Break. Just two more weeks.
Pray for any educators you know. We need it.
No, like, seriously…these kids are gonzo for the next ten school days.
Hilary